I'm writing a book, here is a small piece of it, please read and tell me what you think?

Its good! I would like to read the whole thing when you finish it, but you are right your words are caught on each other. You use the same words too much ( like ran). Try using a thesaurus. Trust me they help a lot. Other than that this is amazing ( I am not one of those people who make up things just to make others feel better). Keep going!!!!!!!